Life opens, responds and gives way to those courageous enough to make a choice. Our society is riddled with distractions and opportunities to remain indecisive. We become paralyzed to the point we cannot make the simplest choice. Decisions are the open door to change. You have to make a choice, even if you look back to realize it could have been done differently.
In Latin, the word choice is ‘electio’ and means the engagement of free will. It also speaks of assessing options and being willing to move forward. This doesn’t mean we sit back and wait to see how things turn out before we make decisions. Instead, we are eagerly seeking out information because we are ready to move forward.
In the opening scene of Act III of Hamlet, Shakespeare approaches the biggest and most grand subject of all; To be or not to be. Life hinges on the answers and choice that will immediately follow. Within the following lines reveals a conflict at the base of humanity. From them, some have misunderstood what choosing is all about. There are two major myths that have aroused surrounding our choice to be or not to be.
The first is that my being is somehow subjected to someone else’s actions or decisions. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Your life is your business. You never needed to wait on someone to give you permission, allow you or give you access. At any moment, you can shift the direction of your life with a choice. The great lie has been you were not enough.
The second myth is that my being will come about without any backlash, effort or awkwardness. The reality is your decision to be isn’t easy. That’s why some choose not to be. When you evolve into your authentic self, you do so through many growing pains. It’s uncomfortable, you struggle to find your own footing. But once you do, it is very difficult to go back to the old ways.
Here are some simple ways to activate and develop your personal chooser:
• Acknowledge that you alone hold the responsibility for how your life will turn out: We live in a time when it’s far too easy to play the blame game. When you meet most people they insist on repeating all the excuses of why things are the way they are. It was their father, their teachers, their boss or their spouse. The real and raw reality is we give our power away every time we blame someone else. Life expands for the person with the guts to own the space of life they have. You can’t move forward without it.
• Get the facts and face them: There is a place for positive affirmations. But no affirmation is meant to take the place of you looking at what is wrong. You can’t use affirmations to trick yourself into thinking things are better than they are. If life sucks right now, admit it, own it and then face it. Once this is done, you can strategize for a better tomorrow. Anything else is just spraying air freshener in a room you refuse to remove the trash from.
• Pull the trigger: This is where the rubber meets the road! Do something. It’s easier to steer a car in gear and rolling than one that is sitting still. Don’t be the person who sits paralyzed by a million options; which is just a procrastinator’s way of doing nothing. Get off your butt and make something happen. Even if it is the wrong thing, at least you have the momentum of an action.
Although our daily lives don’t end in the dramatic fashion as did Hamlet. I dare think our choices while important, aren’t always life and death either. Developing a mature and well-balanced “chooser” in a time when most are content with being stagnant can be the key to a more satisfying life. So stand up and trust your gut. The best of your days can be just one choice away.
Changing relationships one princess at a time,