Tag Archives: Tiara Talk

It’s All About Our Choices

modern princessLife opens, responds and gives way to those courageous enough to make a choice. Our society is riddled with distractions and opportunities to remain indecisive. We become paralyzed to the point we cannot make the simplest choice. Decisions are the open door to change. You have to make a choice, even if you look back to realize it could have been done differently.

In Latin, the word choice is ‘electio’ and means the engagement of free will. It also speaks of assessing options and being willing to move forward. This doesn’t mean we sit back and wait to see how things turn out before we make decisions. Instead, we are eagerly seeking out information because we are ready to move forward.

In the opening scene of Act III of Hamlet, Shakespeare approaches the biggest and most grand subject of all; To be or not to be. Life hinges on the answers and choice that will immediately follow. Within the following lines reveals a conflict at the base of humanity. From them, some have misunderstood what choosing is all about. There are two major myths that have aroused surrounding our choice to be or not to be.

The first is that my being is somehow subjected to someone else’s actions or decisions. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Your life is your business. You never needed to wait on someone to give you permission, allow you or give you access. At any moment, you can shift the direction of your life with a choice. The great lie has been you were not enough.

The second myth is that my being will come about without any backlash, effort or awkwardness. The reality is your decision to be isn’t easy. That’s why some choose not to be. When you evolve into your authentic self, you do so through many growing pains. It’s uncomfortable, you struggle to find your own footing. But once you do, it is very difficult to go back to the old ways.

Here are some simple ways to activate and develop your personal chooser:

Acknowledge that you alone hold the responsibility for how your life will turn out: We live in a time when it’s far too easy to play the blame game. When you meet most people they insist on repeating all the excuses of why things are the way they are. It was their father, their teachers, their boss or their spouse. The real and raw reality is we give our power away every time we blame someone else. Life expands for the person with the guts to own the space of life they have. You can’t move forward without it.

Get the facts and face them: There is a place for positive affirmations. But no affirmation is meant to take the place of you looking at what is wrong. You can’t use affirmations to trick yourself into thinking things are better than they are. If life sucks right now, admit it, own it and then face it. Once this is done, you can strategize for a better tomorrow. Anything else is just spraying air freshener in a room you refuse to remove the trash from.

Pull the trigger: This is where the rubber meets the road! Do something. It’s easier to steer a car in gear and rolling than one that is sitting still. Don’t be the person who sits paralyzed by a million options; which is just a procrastinator’s way of doing nothing. Get off your butt and make something happen. Even if it is the wrong thing, at least you have the momentum of an action.

Although our daily lives don’t end in the dramatic fashion as did Hamlet. I dare think our choices while important, aren’t always life and death either. Developing a mature and well-balanced “chooser” in a time when most are content with being stagnant can be the key to a more satisfying life. So stand up and trust your gut. The best of your days can be just one choice away.

Changing relationships one princess at a time,

Early Jackson

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25 Things Fathers ‎Should Tell Their Daughters

As Father’s Day approaches, this time of year can be both a period of celebration and frustrated reflection. For some, they either have had or are currently involved in a healthy relationship with their father, but for others, this time of year can bring to the surface some crippling memories. While the world pauses to celebrate dads it seemed like the perfect time to ask Life Coach Early Jackson, who is the author of a book written exclusively for women, to expound on his thoughts about fathers and daughters, and how they relate to each other.

Fathers intrinsically communicate with their daughters differently than their sons. For most men, they are “training” their sons for manhood. They understand all too well the trappings and struggles of navigating being a man. They have gone through countless situations and spend a great deal of their time conveying this to their sons.

Their daughters are an entirely different situation. For them, it is often nothing but love; dotting over them, protecting them and showering them with affection. This works pretty well when there is both a male and female presence in the home, because it provides the necessary balance for well-rounded parenting.

Mothers are almost always the opposite of their counterparts. They tend to pour affection over their son but sees time spent with their daughter an opportunity to “train” them for womanhood. Just like fathers, mothers invest a lot time helping their daughters understand what it is like to struggle and succeed as a woman.

A father’s love for his daughter, in conjunction with his interactions with her, have the biggest influence in what type of woman she will become. The answers rendered from the man who wrote, “Every girl is born a princess, and every father knows this the second they see them” in his book titled, The Modern Princess: A 21st Century Guide To Fairy Tale Relationships, were powerful and necessary for the well-being of every girl who yearns for the love of a father.

Here are 25 important things Jackson, my husband, said were important principles he tried to communicate to three daughters, two of which are now well into adulthood.

  1. I am a man and I will not pretend to know everything about you
  2. My past mistakes with women make me nervous about you
  3. Your body developing scares the hell out of me
  4. Girls are going to be mean at times, screw them
  5. Your brothers are not more important, just different
  6. Boys can be stupid, do not let it get to you
  7. It is okay to feel awkward
  8. There will come a time when you will not feel that close to me, but I will still be here
  9. You are going to blow it, but I have always got your back
  10. I am not your friend, I am your dad
  11. Sorry, but you will always be my little princess
  12. Avoid miserable people, that stuff is contagious
  13. It is perfectly fine to wait to explore sex
  14. ‎Your heart can easily be fooled, so use your head
  15. Bad boys do not always change
  16. If you have morals, you are going to have some lonely times
  17. Fear is a liar, so follow your dreams
  18. You are going to want to leave the nest, it will hurt but I will be okay
  19. It is important that you can see integrity in the guy you choose
  20. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince
  21. If I seem a bit hard on you, it is only because I want to see you grow
  22. Your worth has nothing to do with your body type
  23. You will know he is the one because you will hear him with your heart
  24. It is a mistake to compare a potential mate to me, whether for good or bad
  25. You are always welcome back home

Being a father is not an easy job. Yes, there are great rewards to parenting but it definitely comes with challenges. Men love watching their son transition into manhood but many also admit that having daughters is one of their greatest joys. Raising girls in a day where the world seems so sensual can be scary, however the relationship a father has with his little girl can make a world of difference as she combats all the superficial crap society constantly throws in her face.

Fathers have a tremendous ability and responsibility to influence the lives of their daughters. The manner in which a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and her expectations on how a man should treat her. These truths from Jackson are just the tip of the iceberg, but are a great start for any man with the desire to give his daughter the necessary tools to become a confident, self-sufficient and disciplined woman. Remember, she may find a prince someday, but a great father will always be her king.

3 Things Guys Do That Drive Women Nuts

3 Things Guys Do That Drive Women NutsAt 42 I look back on my past behaviors as it relates to dating and shake my head. There’s no cute way to put it, I was definitely a jerk. I shudder at the conversations I left in my wake. This all came back to my remembrance after a recent conversation with three women in an eye-glass store.

One of the three women was my wife Cherese. We’d wandered into the store just looking for some cool frames and such. As we stood at the counter discussing prices, in walks a guy with shades on. He’s actually significant in this context because we obviously missed our cue to be impressed as he whipped off his glasses in Hollywood fashion. He stood there for a second in the door way, as if to say, “I’m here!” Right out of the gate I’m sure ladies are reading this and can imagine some guy in their past. You remember, He’s the one who knows you should feel privileged he’s even directing his attention your way.

So he comes over to the counter in front of the first young lady, takes a seat and boldly asks “I’m sure you remember me right?” To which 3 Things Guys Do That Drive Women Nutsshe responded, “Should I?” This always crushes guy’s feelings. Here’s when I leaned over to my wife and kind of laughed. She knew exactly what was going on.

For the next 10 minutes we listened and laughed as he made every feeble attempt to put the moves on this poor lady. He even mentioned the fact that she should really remember him because of his striking height and features. I still don’t know how I managed to keep my lunch down.

When he finally left, feeling a bit deflated, I was privy to a high level top-secret conversation between women. I mean, some classified stuff. I immediately mentioned my new relationship book, “The Modern Princess,” which outlines three princesses with serious men issues. I asked if they’d break down both what he did wrong and what was going through their heads. As it turns out, his epic fail serves as a great object lesson in the ever confusing interactions of men and women.

  1. He walked in but they never met “him”: So I’m learning more and more how important authenticity is to ladies. If you’re looking for more than a flashy line and a few one night stands, those cheesy lines are the pits. It took me well into my twenties to value and appreciate my true self. Ladies, when a man refuses to show you who he really is, he’s obviously hiding something.
  2. He assumed she not only remembered him, but somehow was also impressed: Big mistake! A guy that seeks to superficially impress will have issues with long-term relationships. I can relate because that was me. Once the shine or newness of the relationship wore off, so did my attention. Impressing is for boys. Men seek to connect on a much deeper level.
  3. He tried to connect with her through material things: As she struggled through his advances to make an eye exam appointment, he politely dropped the fact that he drove a luxury car; it wouldn’t be an issue with day appointments because he was the “boss.” He even managed to work in that he lived in an affluent area of the city. When will we learn that a real women isn’t a gold digger, she’s a goal digger? So what we have doesn’t move their hearts anymore.

At the end of it all, we parted ways with them looking up my website to order a couple of books and us with a much welcomed laugh. But at the core, all of life is teaching a lesson. In a few moments I was able to look back at my own development and look forward to the cause in which I hope to spread through “Tiara Talk.” I want to cultivate a conversation about relationships, love and all the other B.S. so dating will be safe for my granddaughter.

See you at the TOP!
Early