Tag Archives: The Modern Princess

It’s All About Our Choices

modern princessLife opens, responds and gives way to those courageous enough to make a choice. Our society is riddled with distractions and opportunities to remain indecisive. We become paralyzed to the point we cannot make the simplest choice. Decisions are the open door to change. You have to make a choice, even if you look back to realize it could have been done differently.

In Latin, the word choice is ‘electio’ and means the engagement of free will. It also speaks of assessing options and being willing to move forward. This doesn’t mean we sit back and wait to see how things turn out before we make decisions. Instead, we are eagerly seeking out information because we are ready to move forward.

In the opening scene of Act III of Hamlet, Shakespeare approaches the biggest and most grand subject of all; To be or not to be. Life hinges on the answers and choice that will immediately follow. Within the following lines reveals a conflict at the base of humanity. From them, some have misunderstood what choosing is all about. There are two major myths that have aroused surrounding our choice to be or not to be.

The first is that my being is somehow subjected to someone else’s actions or decisions. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Your life is your business. You never needed to wait on someone to give you permission, allow you or give you access. At any moment, you can shift the direction of your life with a choice. The great lie has been you were not enough.

The second myth is that my being will come about without any backlash, effort or awkwardness. The reality is your decision to be isn’t easy. That’s why some choose not to be. When you evolve into your authentic self, you do so through many growing pains. It’s uncomfortable, you struggle to find your own footing. But once you do, it is very difficult to go back to the old ways.

Here are some simple ways to activate and develop your personal chooser:

Acknowledge that you alone hold the responsibility for how your life will turn out: We live in a time when it’s far too easy to play the blame game. When you meet most people they insist on repeating all the excuses of why things are the way they are. It was their father, their teachers, their boss or their spouse. The real and raw reality is we give our power away every time we blame someone else. Life expands for the person with the guts to own the space of life they have. You can’t move forward without it.

Get the facts and face them: There is a place for positive affirmations. But no affirmation is meant to take the place of you looking at what is wrong. You can’t use affirmations to trick yourself into thinking things are better than they are. If life sucks right now, admit it, own it and then face it. Once this is done, you can strategize for a better tomorrow. Anything else is just spraying air freshener in a room you refuse to remove the trash from.

Pull the trigger: This is where the rubber meets the road! Do something. It’s easier to steer a car in gear and rolling than one that is sitting still. Don’t be the person who sits paralyzed by a million options; which is just a procrastinator’s way of doing nothing. Get off your butt and make something happen. Even if it is the wrong thing, at least you have the momentum of an action.

Although our daily lives don’t end in the dramatic fashion as did Hamlet. I dare think our choices while important, aren’t always life and death either. Developing a mature and well-balanced “chooser” in a time when most are content with being stagnant can be the key to a more satisfying life. So stand up and trust your gut. The best of your days can be just one choice away.

Changing relationships one princess at a time,

Early Jackson

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25 Things Fathers ‎Should Tell Their Daughters

As Father’s Day approaches, this time of year can be both a period of celebration and frustrated reflection. For some, they either have had or are currently involved in a healthy relationship with their father, but for others, this time of year can bring to the surface some crippling memories. While the world pauses to celebrate dads it seemed like the perfect time to ask Life Coach Early Jackson, who is the author of a book written exclusively for women, to expound on his thoughts about fathers and daughters, and how they relate to each other.

Fathers intrinsically communicate with their daughters differently than their sons. For most men, they are “training” their sons for manhood. They understand all too well the trappings and struggles of navigating being a man. They have gone through countless situations and spend a great deal of their time conveying this to their sons.

Their daughters are an entirely different situation. For them, it is often nothing but love; dotting over them, protecting them and showering them with affection. This works pretty well when there is both a male and female presence in the home, because it provides the necessary balance for well-rounded parenting.

Mothers are almost always the opposite of their counterparts. They tend to pour affection over their son but sees time spent with their daughter an opportunity to “train” them for womanhood. Just like fathers, mothers invest a lot time helping their daughters understand what it is like to struggle and succeed as a woman.

A father’s love for his daughter, in conjunction with his interactions with her, have the biggest influence in what type of woman she will become. The answers rendered from the man who wrote, “Every girl is born a princess, and every father knows this the second they see them” in his book titled, The Modern Princess: A 21st Century Guide To Fairy Tale Relationships, were powerful and necessary for the well-being of every girl who yearns for the love of a father.

Here are 25 important things Jackson, my husband, said were important principles he tried to communicate to three daughters, two of which are now well into adulthood.

  1. I am a man and I will not pretend to know everything about you
  2. My past mistakes with women make me nervous about you
  3. Your body developing scares the hell out of me
  4. Girls are going to be mean at times, screw them
  5. Your brothers are not more important, just different
  6. Boys can be stupid, do not let it get to you
  7. It is okay to feel awkward
  8. There will come a time when you will not feel that close to me, but I will still be here
  9. You are going to blow it, but I have always got your back
  10. I am not your friend, I am your dad
  11. Sorry, but you will always be my little princess
  12. Avoid miserable people, that stuff is contagious
  13. It is perfectly fine to wait to explore sex
  14. ‎Your heart can easily be fooled, so use your head
  15. Bad boys do not always change
  16. If you have morals, you are going to have some lonely times
  17. Fear is a liar, so follow your dreams
  18. You are going to want to leave the nest, it will hurt but I will be okay
  19. It is important that you can see integrity in the guy you choose
  20. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince
  21. If I seem a bit hard on you, it is only because I want to see you grow
  22. Your worth has nothing to do with your body type
  23. You will know he is the one because you will hear him with your heart
  24. It is a mistake to compare a potential mate to me, whether for good or bad
  25. You are always welcome back home

Being a father is not an easy job. Yes, there are great rewards to parenting but it definitely comes with challenges. Men love watching their son transition into manhood but many also admit that having daughters is one of their greatest joys. Raising girls in a day where the world seems so sensual can be scary, however the relationship a father has with his little girl can make a world of difference as she combats all the superficial crap society constantly throws in her face.

Fathers have a tremendous ability and responsibility to influence the lives of their daughters. The manner in which a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and her expectations on how a man should treat her. These truths from Jackson are just the tip of the iceberg, but are a great start for any man with the desire to give his daughter the necessary tools to become a confident, self-sufficient and disciplined woman. Remember, she may find a prince someday, but a great father will always be her king.

4 Myths Women Believe About Men

Tiara Talk LogoThe summer of 2013 is geared up to be an action movie junkies’ dream come true. With releases from Hollywood heavy hitters like DeNiro, Smith, Hanks and Cruise, I have already prepared to beat the heat of summer in the movie theaters. As usual, I looked forward to a couple of films that were adapted from the comics. A couple of years ago was the Dark Knight’s run, 2013 was about none other than the man from Krypton, Kal-El. Most recognize him from his earth name, Clark Kent.

The Modern Princess

I can’t tell you the times I wrapped a towel from my mother’s linen closet around my neck and ran off to simulate flying. Every boy has once dreamed of being faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. But somewhere between adolescence and high school our once lofty dreams approach life from a safer perspective.

There are unspoken rules of conduct that men abide by. See, the worst insult you could give a man is that he’s somehow acting less than what a ‘real’ man should. So we go through great lengths to ensure our manhood is not questioned. In this we often lose sight of transparency or being authentic. Instead we are working overtime to keep up a facade. This behavior is passed down time and time again. But as men, we can never grow pass what we refuse to confront. Here are a few ‘myths’ we carry as men of steel:

4 Myths Women (Still) Believe About Men

  1. Men don’t have feelings, therefore they cannot be hurt: This is a flat-out lie. As I often say, we have the same feelings as women with a much different expression. Any guy who says a woman has never broken his heart or let him down needs to get his head examined. As men, we are occupational while women tend to be relational. So we find our identity in what we do, not who we know.
  2. Men just don’t like to talk: The truth is, we don’t like to talk at the exact moment women do, but we do talk. We speak about things that affect us or inspire us. If you ever want to see a guy really get chatty, tap into what he’s passionate about. That’s what matters most to men.
  3. Men avoid commitment at all costs: What connects us to our manhood is how well our families are taken care of. I don’t believe I have been more ashamed or disappointed in myself than when my finances fell too short to take care of my family. I felt less than a man. Often if we have a doubt about our ability to provide, we tend to shy away from that commitment.
  4. Men never get depressed: Absolutely we do! The difference is, early in boyhood we were told, big boys don’t cry. We took that mantra to heart. In fact, we added on that big boys don’t share their emotions. We took it as a sign of weakness. But anything without a pressure valve to give release will likely explode.

I have always been fascinated with the story of Superman. Not just because of his incredible acts of heroics, but because the people closest to him never made the connection. Somehow he could come up missing, he could save their lives and spend time with them, and no one ever thought Clark was really Superman. I guess that’s appropriate. As men, we have lived the truth that it’s the other way around. Superman, was really Clark Kent all along.

See ya at the top!

Early

I’m a guest expert for the Making Love Happen Virtual Roundtable – Join me!

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Great day empowered people!

The other day I invited you to hang out with me for the ‘Making Love Happen’ Virtual Roundtable. It’s coming up tomorrow, so if you haven’t signed up yet, do it NOW.

Sign up for the Hangout HERE.

Dr. Towanna Freeman, myself and the other love experts will be making love happensharing how to find love again following a divorce or a tragic situation. Or, if you’re already in a relationship, how to re-ignite that spark and get your groove back.

I’ll personally share why conflict in your relationship is a good thing and the common pitfalls and mistakes people make.

It’s going to be juicy.

Towanna (my friend and highly-esteemed colleague) is an award-winning author, speaker and life strategist who empowers her clients to achieve their vision through purposeful action. She’s hosting this ground-breaking, hot discussion and I’m honored to be a contributor.

If you’re looking to create an intimate, honorable relationship with someone who adores and loves you for you, then you don’t want to miss this.

Register HERE today.

See you at the TOP!
Early

From the Bar to the Bedroom: The Truth “About Last Night”

www.themodernprincess.orgIt seems my idea to slip out and catch a funny romantic comedy wasn’t so unique. In fact, I along with millions did the exact same thing over Valentine’s Day weekend. We all took in Kevin Hart alongside a star studded cast including Michael Ealy in About Last Night. Grossing just over 27 million, many agree it has done “justice” to the 1986 original which featured Rob Lowe and Demi Moore. This time around, director Steve Pink went with a comedic cast living in an upscale area of Los Angeles.

As far as plots go, About Last Night doesn’t take the viewers on an unfamiliar journey. There are a lot of things that are fairly predictable but with a cast led by Hart and his rapid fire wisecrack delivery, you will find yourself laughing out loud constantly! These four hapless lovers find themselves managing life and emotions after hooking up. What makes it even more stressful is they all rushed into it after the first date. Things escalate beyond their wildest dreams as the two couple’s watch each other implode on an epic proportion.

The Modern princessAs I watched the film, it began to remind me very closely of the situations from my latest relationship book titled The Modern Princess: A 21st Century Guide To Fairy Tale Relationships in which I talk about the plight of women in the dating world. Dating is a contact sport and sometimes there are casualties. While main characters Bernie and Joan are more evident as the volatile couples, Debbie and Danny aren’t too far behind in the “crazy” department. The movie held an underline theme of just how important our expectations, character and close friendships are on our relationships. Here are a few things I think we all can take away about relationships:

One night stands are not a healthy measuring point for relationship compatibility: Of course the movie made light of the fact that both main couples met and with their first date made the decision to hook up and immediately hooked up. In my personal and professional opinion, this is probably one of the most misleading factors in building a solid relationship. When sex is introduced too soon in the developmental processes, it muddies the senses to reality. Feelings can become amplified and taken out of context. It’s like doing the whole dating thing out of order.

You put your partner in an awkward position when you tell their friends all your business: Bernie told private details to Danny, than Danny shared them with Debbie. It was only a matter of time before Joan found out that Bernie told Danny and even Debbie knew. You get the point. In a couple, the objective is to be moving forward towards building trust and credibility with each other. When one or more parties put too much info out there it creates tension on everyone. The cycle of relationships can get ugly, and when you share everything about this to your friends, it’s going to get very messy.

In real life, major fights and differences are no joking matter: I think I laughed so hard I cried at the cursing match Bernie had with Joan when they fought. They are like the neighbors no one wants to live near. Loud, profane and merciless, they made us all think of “those couples” we all know. The deal is in real life, this is not anything to laugh about. When you’re in a situation and it gets toxic, it’s time to go. No question about it. We all argue, disagree and give each other the cold shoulder. But don’t mistake average relational ups and downs to physical and verbal abuse. You should never feel unsafe around someone you’re building a future with.

The bottom line is, if you need a good laugh and want to make fun of people totally bombing in relationships; About Last Night is the movie for you. The whole cast did an incredible job of producing material that was entertaining yet thought provoking. Although subtle, it leaves us looking at our own relationships and making sure we are at least trying to be open and honest with those we choose to be with.

Don’t forget to review and grab the book at www.themodernprincess.org

See ya at the top!

Early