Life has a funny way of making certain things cyclical until we finally get the message. What we equate to bad luck, a rut or even a terrible life is really nothing more than an internal cycle of events designed to teach us a lesson. I like to call this “The Process.” My definition of process is a series of operations that produce a finished product. I actually find it comforting to go through the process. Why? Well, I’m not crazy, that’s for sure. But below the surface you begin to realize that cheap things don’t go through a process. So if you are finding yourself in this state, it is only because you carry extreme value.
Think about expensive furniture or a well-constructed piece of clothing. If it came from quality, it has to go through the process. Fine leathers, exotic woods or precious metals aren’t just taken from their source and handed to a consumer. There are several steps it must go through. Items that last long enough to pass on to your grandchildren have gone through a process to ensure their value will remain high. But on the other hand, that bag or pair of shoes that you grabbed for next to nothing will barely last the season. What’s even funnier is when you go the cheaper route, you end up paying more in the long run. Life, love and dealing with ourselves can be a lot like this.
I’ve heard it said, “When you truly know your worth you will stop giving everyone discounts.” I fell in love with this quote years ago as I began expanding my field as an empowerment coach to women. It rang true day in and day out as I sat and heard women from all walks of life and backgrounds “self” diagnosis themselves as “broken.” Broken? Really? Who told you that? Most had been beaten down emotionally by someone so selfish that they began to echo what they heard. Calling yourself broken by another’s definition is probably the highest form of sabotage you can perform on yourself. That would mean that the person or situation was so strong it had the ability to alter your process. And that’s just not true! I believe no one or thing can break us from the inside out. Don’t get me wrong, circumstances can and will affect us. At times, they may even injure us. But nothing can cause us to deteriorate from an external point of view.
Let’s look at it like this. Every woman is a seed waiting to explode with potential. And just like a seed, when the time comes there is a process that begins at its core. While covered with dirt, far beneath the surface great work is happening. In the dark places where no one can view, internal shifts create momentum. What no one knows is that you’re giving birth to all that lives within. From the outside it may seem like a breakdown. But it is really the necessary steps to get you to your greatness!
In Latin, the word germinate comes from “germinare” and gives the idea of something coming from a deep place and sprouting forward. Interestingly it does not mean to make something become that never was. But more of a revealing of what was hidden. That should lend hope and empowerment to every woman reading this. Stop trying to become what you’re not. You were designed and taken through the process to have a sort of coming out party for the world to see who and what you’ve always been. You were made perfect, don’t waste time being a cheap imitation.
The seed then sacrifices looking pretty and well put together to move from potential to production. And it all started with a process. How many ladies have been misjudged because they processed their journey publicly? Society can be relentless in its stereotypes. From reality TV, magazines and social media, we’ve been brainwashed to believe you should live a pristine life with no hiccups. That’s an absolute lie. Your journey gets messy. You miss the mark. You blow it. And so what! If you could ask a seed how the experience of growth was, it would tell you it was hell. But it was all worth it. When you know that what’s in you is bigger than the place you’ve been planted, you learn to embrace every step of the process.
Maybe we’ve looked at being broken the wrong way this whole time. We have spent millions and wasted countless hours striving to fit into a label that was flawed. Instead of hiding mistakes and the rough patches of our journey, I say celebrate them. Perhaps broken was simply the vehicle intended to reveal the best parts of you. The parts that no ex-lover, no abuser or critic could ever imagine. I love the way poet Dee Rees puts it in the closing lines of one of her poems:
Running is not a choice from the breaking
Breaking is freeing
Broken is freedom
I am not broken
Changing relationships one princess at a time!!!