As Father’s Day approaches, this time of year can be both a period of celebration and frustrated reflection. For some, they either have had or are currently involved in a healthy relationship with their father, but for others, this time of year can bring to the surface some crippling memories. While the world pauses to celebrate dads it seemed like the perfect time to ask Life Coach Early Jackson, who is the author of a book written exclusively for women, to expound on his thoughts about fathers and daughters, and how they relate to each other.
Fathers intrinsically communicate with their daughters differently than their sons. For most men, they are “training” their sons for manhood. They understand all too well the trappings and struggles of navigating being a man. They have gone through countless situations and spend a great deal of their time conveying this to their sons.
Their daughters are an entirely different situation. For them, it is often nothing but love; dotting over them, protecting them and showering them with affection. This works pretty well when there is both a male and female presence in the home, because it provides the necessary balance for well-rounded parenting.
Mothers are almost always the opposite of their counterparts. They tend to pour affection over their son but sees time spent with their daughter an opportunity to “train” them for womanhood. Just like fathers, mothers invest a lot time helping their daughters understand what it is like to struggle and succeed as a woman.
A father’s love for his daughter, in conjunction with his interactions with her, have the biggest influence in what type of woman she will become. The answers rendered from the man who wrote, “Every girl is born a princess, and every father knows this the second they see them” in his book titled, The Modern Princess: A 21st Century Guide To Fairy Tale Relationships, were powerful and necessary for the well-being of every girl who yearns for the love of a father.
Here are 25 important things Jackson, my husband, said were important principles he tried to communicate to three daughters, two of which are now well into adulthood.
- I am a man and I will not pretend to know everything about you
- My past mistakes with women make me nervous about you
- Your body developing scares the hell out of me
- Girls are going to be mean at times, screw them
- Your brothers are not more important, just different
- Boys can be stupid, do not let it get to you
- It is okay to feel awkward
- There will come a time when you will not feel that close to me, but I will still be here
- You are going to blow it, but I have always got your back
- I am not your friend, I am your dad
- Sorry, but you will always be my little princess
- Avoid miserable people, that stuff is contagious
- It is perfectly fine to wait to explore sex
- Your heart can easily be fooled, so use your head
- Bad boys do not always change
- If you have morals, you are going to have some lonely times
- Fear is a liar, so follow your dreams
- You are going to want to leave the nest, it will hurt but I will be okay
- It is important that you can see integrity in the guy you choose
- You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince
- If I seem a bit hard on you, it is only because I want to see you grow
- Your worth has nothing to do with your body type
- You will know he is the one because you will hear him with your heart
- It is a mistake to compare a potential mate to me, whether for good or bad
- You are always welcome back home
Being a father is not an easy job. Yes, there are great rewards to parenting but it definitely comes with challenges. Men love watching their son transition into manhood but many also admit that having daughters is one of their greatest joys. Raising girls in a day where the world seems so sensual can be scary, however the relationship a father has with his little girl can make a world of difference as she combats all the superficial crap society constantly throws in her face.
Fathers have a tremendous ability and responsibility to influence the lives of their daughters. The manner in which a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and her expectations on how a man should treat her. These truths from Jackson are just the tip of the iceberg, but are a great start for any man with the desire to give his daughter the necessary tools to become a confident, self-sufficient and disciplined woman. Remember, she may find a prince someday, but a great father will always be her king.